YOU

finally got to read it... and... im downright speechless

u see it comin... but u wish to shut them away... will my words ever reach you?... its not my choice to make.... its a hard pill to swallow for me... when u feel that your not ready for my words... will u ever be?... what came my way?.... has stepped me to the ground...

i m a shell of a man i used to be... ive shed my boyish grooms away through the flow of tears... to the point where i cant anymore... cos i really cant... the scar will always be there; ironically near my sense of sight though i cant see it until i look in the mirror... a mark of fallen grace...

spare me a life... and let that life breathe into me...

' in due time...u will realize that... the hardest thing and the right thing... are the same...' n i pray for that day when u will finally realize it...

i think ive got insomnia dammit... its frustrating and draining the livin outta me... im sooooo tired yet i cant sleep... reached home at 11am... been a long tyme since ive been out dat long... crazy day... and the rain certainly helped... it was freakin pourin and i had to strip down to avoid bein drenched... which is to no avail cos there wasnt much of a shelter from where we were...
had quite some time with the peeps from back den... and most of em are still the same... maybe wiser... less radical and for some... more slutty... which is... kinda freaky... lol...

its a record... 2 weeks... make dat 3 in case i lost count.... without proper sleep... my mind's been bombin a hell load of thoughts and the lack of sleep aint bein much of a fren either... WHY?!!!
its the freakin holidays for goodness sake!!...

the words from ms reena the other day still rings in my head... ' something tells me that u have already decided...'

have i?... if i had... THE HELL ISSIT?!!!... its killin me....

R.I.P ANTONIO PUERTA

life is sooooo... unpredictable....

short?.... dats a no brainer

such a good player... i remember watchin his videos in the changing rooms... how he played... his work ethics on the field... he was made an example by my coach as a player that will soon b one of the greatest... cos he wants to show us a player doesnt really need to b well known play excellently...

it was shockin news... only 22 yrs old... and his child is due in 2 mnths... and he didnt get the chance to see his baby...

incidents like this wakes us up from time to time... but sadly though it often becomes only momentary fear...

its tooo coincidental... honestly i thought of just... keepin shut... but wen this incident happened... i realized... im not strong enuff to take everythin to the grave.... i feel so cold now... i cant tear... emotions stagnant... mainly cos things at home have subdued to silence... and its more deafening than i thought...

its big... what i want to tell you... but... are you ready for it...?

well...i conclude that hot girls can go psycho loco... or act dat way for dat matter... caught girl interrupted yesterday... good show i guess...

didnt do much yest... except prepared dinner for oms and fungfung... lol... hope u guys liked it though ms chew oni ate most of the bread and oms finished the rest... typical and expected... but glad dey enjoyed my dinner... =)

i swear the rob stiles is goin loco too... it was a laughable match to watch tdae... i quote jose mourinho...'ESSIEN WAS SCARED!'... haha... wad a twerp... lol

in conclusion... sometimes i cant believe the fact that u choose not to see wads dere wen its so obvious... u refuse to comprehend y i have to make adjustments to myself to cater towards wad u are seeking right now... the thought of your intent to refuse notice bothers me greatly... which is y i keep askin myself... wad the hell are you doin?... and the answer keeps changin... as excuses come flooding as its facade...

y cant you accept something genuine instead of something that changes?... remember... these things dont noe u like i do... and u noe it doesnt take a genius to understand that is not easy doin so...

i broke every wall to come this far and to stand at where i am right now... and u of all people should noe dat i refuse to submit to a standstill...

when will u decide to stop lookin... to turn around and see... me?

thought fatigue

too tired to know wad is needed for me to look forward to for the future... truth is i cant answer all the questions you guys throw at me cos honestly... i dun have any...

too tired too look at the source cos first of all theyre my own blood... secondly... hell if i noe wads goin on cos nobody talks...

too tired to think about where life will take me wen school ends... cos honestly there aint much time... to stay or to go?... nah... dis time ill b the judge... not you and not anybody else... ill just have to make do cos time will lead me to it...

too tired to think about another crazy episode... cos im losing my mind and my energy...

too tired to think about handling dis alone... sadly im on my own... with only an angel to talk to... and dats you...

deres so much for me to tell you cos... youre always dere wen im really at my lowest point... yet ive always been a spectator in your life... and playin my own game in mine... watchin... waitin... with thoughts runnin through my mind... my mouths shuts... but my heart and my mind screams hysterically... too tired... to think... too... tired

unfortunately... i cant stop thinkin... about... that angel...

funny random muse

was walkin away from school today wif neek wen we saw somethin really... errm... weird and excruciating to the eyes... like wth...

so i turned to neek and said...

fiq : well neek... you noe... they say love is blind ryte...
neek: yea...
fiq: well i dont think love is blind at all...
neek: ???? ( lookin at me)
fiq: i think... love got screwed... by gettin poked in the eye instead... heh =)

shared the thought wif mom just now... she thought it was funny too... haha... on the other hand... she tinks i'm gettin vulgar and just bein a sour puss... -_- no comments... lol

nite...