bleached by you...

YOU

2007-09-04T09:24:00.000-07:00

finally got to read it... and... im downright speechless

u see it comin... but u wish to shut them away... will my words ever reach you?... its not my choice to make.... its a hard pill to swallow for me... when u feel that your not ready for my words... will u ever be?... what came my way?.... has stepped me to the ground...

i m a shell of a man i used to be... ive shed my boyish grooms away through the flow of tears... to the point where i cant anymore... cos i really cant... the scar will always be there; ironically near my sense of sight though i cant see it until i look in the mirror... a mark of fallen grace...

spare me a life... and let that life breathe into me...

' in due time...u will realize that... the hardest thing and the right thing... are the same...' n i pray for that day when u will finally realize it...

2007-09-02T11:14:00.000-07:00

i think ive got insomnia dammit... its frustrating and draining the livin outta me... im sooooo tired yet i cant sleep... reached home at 11am... been a long tyme since ive been out dat long... crazy day... and the rain certainly helped... it was freakin pourin and i had to strip down to avoid bein drenched... which is to no avail cos there wasnt much of a shelter from where we were...
had quite some time with the peeps from back den... and most of em are still the same... maybe wiser... less radical and for some... more slutty... which is... kinda freaky... lol...

its a record... 2 weeks... make dat 3 in case i lost count.... without proper sleep... my mind's been bombin a hell load of thoughts and the lack of sleep aint bein much of a fren either... WHY?!!!
its the freakin holidays for goodness sake!!...

the words from ms reena the other day still rings in my head... ' something tells me that u have already decided...'

have i?... if i had... THE HELL ISSIT?!!!... its killin me....

2007-08-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

R.I.P ANTONIO PUERTA

life is sooooo... unpredictable....

short?.... dats a no brainer

such a good player... i remember watchin his videos in the changing rooms... how he played... his work ethics on the field... he was made an example by my coach as a player that will soon b one of the greatest... cos he wants to show us a player doesnt really need to b well known play excellently...

it was shockin news... only 22 yrs old... and his child is due in 2 mnths... and he didnt get the chance to see his baby...

incidents like this wakes us up from time to time... but sadly though it often becomes only momentary fear...

its tooo coincidental... honestly i thought of just... keepin shut... but wen this incident happened... i realized... im not strong enuff to take everythin to the grave.... i feel so cold now... i cant tear... emotions stagnant... mainly cos things at home have subdued to silence... and its more deafening than i thought...

its big... what i want to tell you... but... are you ready for it...?

2007-08-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

well...i conclude that hot girls can go psycho loco... or act dat way for dat matter... caught girl interrupted yesterday... good show i guess...

didnt do much yest... except prepared dinner for oms and fungfung... lol... hope u guys liked it though ms chew oni ate most of the bread and oms finished the rest... typical and expected... but glad dey enjoyed my dinner... =)

i swear the rob stiles is goin loco too... it was a laughable match to watch tdae... i quote jose mourinho...'ESSIEN WAS SCARED!'... haha... wad a twerp... lol

2007-08-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

in conclusion... sometimes i cant believe the fact that u choose not to see wads dere wen its so obvious... u refuse to comprehend y i have to make adjustments to myself to cater towards wad u are seeking right now... the thought of your intent to refuse notice bothers me greatly... which is y i keep askin myself... wad the hell are you doin?... and the answer keeps changin... as excuses come flooding as its facade...

y cant you accept something genuine instead of something that changes?... remember... these things dont noe u like i do... and u noe it doesnt take a genius to understand that is not easy doin so...

i broke every wall to come this far and to stand at where i am right now... and u of all people should noe dat i refuse to submit to a standstill...

when will u decide to stop lookin... to turn around and see... me?

thought fatigue

2007-08-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

too tired to know wad is needed for me to look forward to for the future... truth is i cant answer all the questions you guys throw at me cos honestly... i dun have any...

too tired too look at the source cos first of all theyre my own blood... secondly... hell if i noe wads goin on cos nobody talks...

too tired to think about where life will take me wen school ends... cos honestly there aint much time... to stay or to go?... nah... dis time ill b the judge... not you and not anybody else... ill just have to make do cos time will lead me to it...

too tired to think about another crazy episode... cos im losing my mind and my energy...

too tired to think about handling dis alone... sadly im on my own... with only an angel to talk to... and dats you...

deres so much for me to tell you cos... youre always dere wen im really at my lowest point... yet ive always been a spectator in your life... and playin my own game in mine... watchin... waitin... with thoughts runnin through my mind... my mouths shuts... but my heart and my mind screams hysterically... too tired... to think... too... tired

unfortunately... i cant stop thinkin... about... that angel...

funny random muse

2007-07-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

was walkin away from school today wif neek wen we saw somethin really... errm... weird and excruciating to the eyes... like wth...

so i turned to neek and said...

fiq : well neek... you noe... they say love is blind ryte...
neek: yea...
fiq: well i dont think love is blind at all...
neek: ???? ( lookin at me)
fiq: i think... love got screwed... by gettin poked in the eye instead... heh =)

shared the thought wif mom just now... she thought it was funny too... haha... on the other hand... she tinks i'm gettin vulgar and just bein a sour puss... -_- no comments... lol

nite...

2007-07-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

pedal to the metal... to the wood...

traits of a born racer... heh...born racer indeed... u're probably getting nailed bro... call me wen ure done... =)

caught die hard four o today... kinda nice...okae its very good i suppose...nice to see a more realistic protagonist for once... how i wish im john mclaine ryte now... it helps to divert my attention to the expected rant from mom cause i didnt go for my med screen...

ouh well... hope its nothin... ive got too much to worry bout aniwaes....

the way i are

2007-07-02T09:23:00.000-07:00

condolences to a dear friend... stay strong... whatever it is... you noe we'll b dere for ya

today got me thinkin... how we're just somewhat a timeline and often guided representations of life... you me and everybody else... life's grand... dis is true... what's life without tears?... i guess the indifferent tearings of us cant be put into the same situations all the time... we cry; for a reason... most of the time due to oblivious circumstances ... and unfortunately cases often undefined... cos they just roll down i guess

what worries me is dat we all forget... whats really needed and whats redundant... ouh well...
i guess... what assist us as reminders are the people around us... and the memories we cherish...
cos after all we're all timelines... fortunately... timelines cross... dats how i met everybody... =) and you.

an abundance of reminders from the people i love... family and frens... nothin more one could ask for...once again my deepest sympathies... we're all here... me, neek and everybody else.

like you just the way u are...

the day she's silenced... the day i mourn

2007-06-19T13:22:00.000-07:00

almost forgotten... only rmbred till mom got soo quite since im home... and den i came to...

today is the day i... nvm the details...

hey... hope your doin fine up dere... its your big brother... =) its kinda weird bloggin bout u... cos i usually talk to u in my prayers... im sure your watchin us... all of us... mom... dad... and your 3 other idiotic bros... =) its funny but wen i talk abt you... i feel better... i remember... the things i said dat day... apparently nobody forgets...especially mom... but i noe... u've forgiven me... im sure youre happy up in the heavens... n i bet youre well taken care of... big bro rmbrs u... so does mom...

im sure uve seen the tough luck ive been in for the past half year... hope ur not laughin up dere!!... heh... ouhwell... say a prayer for me my little sister...cos i really need it... though we've never met... we'll b together someday... and u can meet mom... =)

i love you... forgive me nite

the beginning of my silence... till the 24th hour

death ride home

2007-06-19T03:52:00.000-07:00

i swear... i almost died today... yes im not kiddin... life just flashes past me like flickering essence of lightning...

earlier me oms and neek decided to slack at simpang... all thanks to fungfung after she cheated the feelings of the innocent by makin her way home like nobody's business after our plan for the day collapsed... idiot

we guys had quite a long talk about stuffs... like alot of stuffs... for example wad we do wen we're bored... and stuffs like dat... oms kills boredom by burning his hair... nonono... not the hair up dere... yup youre warm... warmmmmerrrr... bingo... dats ryte...DOWN DERE... DAT HAIR... ouhwell... sources of entertainment comes in weird forms... even black strands... but hey... i still love you... lol

den we started talking about creepy stuffs... as usual... omar often asked for a deathwish cos he cycles in threes all the time at pasir ris park... and encounters stuffs 100% of the time... brilliant... come on... pasir ris aint dat bad... i freakin live here ppl...

so made my way home and dats wen my death ride began... i took a cab as usual... and while i was in a cab... i felt this sudden shift of the vehicle... i was like... THE HELL WAS DAT??... den it happened again... and i started to get really worried... so i started concentrating on the cab uncle... den... the answer i was lookin for was just in front of me...

THE BLOODY CAB UNCLE WAS SLEEPY!!!!!!... o-m-freakin-g!!!... he kept dozing of every llike 5 sec and i swear i was gonna buang any time... the car kept shiftin in and out of the left lane like it was a test run for new wheels... my thoughts ran wild immediately... like for example if i did crash... i'll b the next ghost that haunts my neighborhood.... or like OMG... im not gonna get married!!!!... and lastly.. the thought i feared the most... OMG!!!... this will be the most UNGLAM DEATH EVER!!!... IN A CAB!!!... AND ITS FREAKIN COMFORT!!!!...

i knew there was a reason y i dun fancy blue cabs... firstly.. their freakin ex... secondly...almost every ride is a long ass route to home or anywhere else... and lastly after my near death experience... sleepiness... -_- somethin i could have never thought of as a reason for not takin blue cabs...

but i shudnt stereotype... cos not all cab uncles of comfort give u such experiences... just dat... i wont b takin blue cabs for at least a month... nite =)

2007-06-13T11:28:00.001-07:00

"Nobody is perfect... if you're perfect... you're nobody... but apparently you're somebody..."

i cant believe i said this for an advice... and didnt noe it made sense 3 hours later... -_- ouh well

9 june... a year passed

2007-06-09T04:53:00.000-07:00

i just feel like rantin... its just a one day thing... wont matter and wont mean anythin...

a year has passed... if things turned out right... today would be the happiest day of my life... thats how u meant to me... in this span of 365 days... i fell in love... deeper than i would have ever imagined... and the joy i've experienced had been ecstatic... ive never smiled so wide ever in my entire life... the long walks... the night we kissed in the rain... i still remember all that... it's special... will always be... SPECIAL...

karma slapped i guess... maybe my passed sins weren't forgiven... and they cost me... you... the love of my life... ive learned to atone for my wrongs... and made up for whats right... i guess every right has its wrongs... i failed to look through... but i'm managin it well somehow...

ive lived each day at the hopes of not lookin back... but even when i take the slightest peek over my shoulder... nightmares rushed... in ways i could have never imagined... its funny... heh... i just cant help but give off a smile... =)

the joy, the fear, the pain, the sorrow and the dreadful end... everyone has to experience it sooner or later... i experienced it later than everyone else... thankful though... cos ive got ppl that can show me how to deal... its hard to miss a link... its even harder if youve got nothin to hold on to... life's a little less of 19 candles for me... cos i died once... lol... we all did at some point aniwaes so what's new? lol...but boy when it hits you... it hits you hard... then again... im still alive... heh

it makes me wonder about how we often pursuit happiness... you know... through wealth... success and even love... this is not comin from me but... ive heard that we keep chasin what we think would make us happy... somehow... and freakin sadly ... lol... we'll never be completely happy with what we have... thats y we're always in pursuit... hmm... deep indeed... even when we were happy... sometimes we get careless...or worst case scenario... dead unlucky... and we lose that something or someone that kept us goin all these while... so what does life say to you next?... RUN AGAIN LA... =)

yea... i would have been the happiest man on earth today... but now im off to work... they say once bitten twice shy... lookin at it closely... i wasnt bitten... i was broken... =)

kae im done... like ive said earlier... its a one day thing... it wont matter i guess... though no matter how hard i wish it does...

i feel like smokin seesha.... so random

happy 9th of june to my fav couple... love u both... lol =)

2007-06-01T11:08:00.000-07:00

decided to change my blogskin.... got sick and tired of the previous one... changed the song too btw...lol kinda liked it... hope u guys are okae wif it though... if not... lol... its my blog niwaes... heh

damn damn bored...

tests are nearin and i havent start a single muggin session... i cant get too laid back... i really need my B's... my gpa is improvin... cant afford to slack for anythin now... if not... im bound to pay the price... which i wont let myself suffer such fate la... i hope... please god... u the man... i want my b's... lol if u want somebody to humor... i suggest pickin on memekman... he'll b worth your while.. thank u god... ameen... =)

2007-05-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

okae back back back.... well had quite a scare 2 days ago but ouh wad the hell... lol

well well... suddenly everybody wants to 'exercise' and workout and stuff... omar's doin push ups and stuff, fungfung is doin sit ups, a girl is suddenly into badminton dunno wads gotten into her ( btw its ms ong if u guys didnt noe... heh) well i tink im gonna pick up a sport to entertain the sudden healthy lifestyle hype thingy... im doin figure skating... BOOM!

went out with my bros today... its been a long tyme since the 3 of us went out together la... went to lagoon under the freakin hot sun... like wth... but we ate alot as usual... hidayat's still freakin funny... and afiq has always been sharp on his sarcasms... idiot

went to granny's house too... Alicia's gonna have a sister!... in a month's time!... and i freakin didnt noe dat!... everybody was goin like...fiq u didnt noe?... OF COS LA!!!! I WASNT INFORMED ABOUT THE CREATION OF A NEWBIE FAMILY MEMBER!!! MY BROS FREAKIN SUCK!!! ... ouh well ... at least i found out todae... if not ill b damn shocked wen i see my auntie carryin 2 kids with her and probably assumed she decided to adopt dis tyme... lol

changed my blog song... i find dis song addictive... im assuming this song will get overplayed and all the mats and minahs will b blasting it on their phones as soon as it hits the airwaves... so i'd rather do it now... so if u hear this song being overplayed in a month or 2 from now... REMEMBER... IT WAS TAUFIQ THAT ENLIGHTENED YOU TO THIS SONG!!!... SO BUY ME A DRINK!!!... =)

goodness... darn bored... ciao

missing my link...

2007-05-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

im sorry... i really am... i owe you

2007-05-06T10:51:00.000-07:00

im glad everythin is cleared now... whats done is done... theres no change to it... sadly it took us 2 years to really get over everythin... rumours, suspicions etc. 2 bloody long years and finally we can really talk about wad really happened...

i guess it was really important and im glad that u came to me for help... gave us the oppurtunity to really talk... i guess alot has happened in the past 2 to 3 years... and i guess deres no one to blame... everyone just went adrift and left things the way it was... waiting for things to come undone...

my advises...im sure u will take it... cos ive been through it already... im glad at least u've manage to salvage what u think u've already lost... im smiling for you... im glad... for me, theres nothin dat can b done... cos karma bit me... and damn it got me good

3 things u need to remember...rid of ur paranoia... rid of your ego... surrender urself... cos sometimes things just gets harder beyond expectations... im still waitin for more things to reveal for itself... as im awaitin that time... live your life the way u want to...

and theres one more thing i forgot to tell u if u ever read this... its important...

if the pain that youre feelin so strong,
is the reason that your holding on...

im sure you noe wad to do... if u dont... heh... i'll b glad to tell u

2007-05-01T06:36:00.000-07:00

was so freakin bored i took the superheroquiz today.... and the results were expected la huh... lol
gosh im so tom welling... lol... and gosh im so full of myself... =)

www.thesuperheroquiz.com

Your results: You are Superman

Superman 85%
Batman 65%
Supergirl 65%
Robin 62%
The Flash 55%
Iron Man 55%
Spider-Man 50%
Wonder Woman 50%
Green Lantern 50%
Hulk 30%
Catwoman 30%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

omg this is so freakin true la.... well... wad can i say... im destined for greatness... LOL

2007-04-29T11:03:00.000-07:00

lol.... finally... the idiot decides to blog... lol... fuck ya'll la... haha

niwaes... went to lagoon for dinner tdae... not bad... had quite alot amazingly... as usual the normal complaints of being full and fat and blah blah... fung your so thin eat more... and rosy flubb... keep up the good work... =)

was feelin abit itchy in the throat so i decided to order gong gong... lol... niwaes most of the ppl on the table never had any before so i'd say they shud giv it a shot... thank god its nice... hehe... it picks the curiosity of food lovers how somethin so good has such a freakin dumb name... gong gong?... hu cares... i like... and i craved for it just now so im grinnin...

decided to put the song by TAI in my blog... suits me aniwaes... so yea... it welcomes the company... =)

and i cant believe i wasnt on schedule today... damn pissed... if i knew this was gonna happen.. i would have worked yesterday and not work for the whole week... freakin waste of time... luckily the guys decided to go out today... if not... im in the mood to bitch slap someone... probably memekman...

on the brightside... spidey's finally in town... im keen to watch it... prefer to watch pirates though... all the good movies are comin out... god bless summer blockbusters... the cinemas will probably b a frequent visit for me... spidey, pirates, shrek, ocean's 13, transformers, harry potter, rush hour 3 etc im such a movie junkie... well thats how the business works... summer blockbusters cash in a hell of a lot... i can see myself goin into the business in the not too distant future... not actin... just franchisin a cinema...lol

speakin of movies... which actor or actress from hollywood would play ur life?... interestin question huh... so we came up with the most suitable for each of us... =)

Fungwee - Sandra Bullock from Ms Congeniality

Fer- Renee Zelweger from Ms Potter

Nic- Josh Hartnett from pearl harbour

Me- Tom Welling from smallville

Omar- Jack Black from Nacho Libre ( basket sia fungfung...lol)

so yes... feel free to answer this and drop it on my taggy... i'll b back... Nite

2007-04-15T13:34:00.000-07:00

ever a thought comes to mind wen you have done the most ridiculous thing a HUMAN can ever fathom by askin the dumbest rhethorical question in a very wrong scenario?... heh... this entry is for ur dedication only bro... =)

Place: MOS
Time: hu cares... i only look at my phone wen i feel like it

fiq's fren decides to put on his charm and approach dis fine girl across the bar... note to self... stop such frens from ever approaching a hot girl... it cramps ur style and leave u in a state of embarassement beyond surgical repair. =) to my fren u noe hu you are... STOP IT... i mean it aite... LOL

Fiq's fren: hello dere...( dumb grin..)

hot girl: ouh... err...hey ( fuzzed face as if she's seen a ghost... or maybe just a borat look-a-like...sori bro... just spicing up the blog... but u noe its true...heh)

Fiq's fren: dope music huh... heh... so wads ur name? ( dumb grin... AGAIN)

hot girl: ermmm.... yea... music's ok... it's abbygale... frens call me abby...

Fiq's fren: REALLY!.... dats a bummer...

hot girl: (looking puzzled) huh... excuse me?...

Fiq's fren: so ur mom named u after a bagel huh...

FIQ: OH..... MY....... GOD.......... -_- ( slapped forehead)

the rest shall not be expressed in this blog because i symphatise my fren so much that i respect that he is god's experiment of massive ego and low e.q level... LOL... still love you bro... just stop bein such an ass...

with that... lesson learned.
( nobody in god's green earth would care if thier named after a breakfast bun. BUT to play it smart.... DON't RUB IT IN LAH BODOH.... hais...) LOL

2007-03-25T12:28:00.000-07:00

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell andI don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can't you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin
'It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

should i stay or should i go

2007-03-07T09:17:00.000-08:00

right... here i am... on a blunt attempt to CPR my blog cos its been quite dead recently...

alot of things have caught up to me these days... rottin at home for quite awhile... being alone for awhile... dont really like the feelin... i mean... here i am being excited about the fact that im gonna live on my own... no parents, no grandad, no grandma, no siblings and... no hidayat!!!

hell... wen i wake the house seems so empty... all the cookin and cleanin just fill up the time aat home while everybody is either at work or in school... at first everythin was kinda alright... but everythin gets stale for a moment...too routine...and on top of dat, i feel really... alone

wen mom or my bro comes home from their thing... ive never felt so you noe... happy. Really got me thinkin if i do wanna stay here or follow the pack... cos sooner den i expected... i dont have anyone to talk to... which is very very depressing...

all the while... ive depended on the people i love the most around me after i crashed and burn not too long ago... especially my bro... but giving a deep thought... in 4-6 mnths time... i have nothin to lean back on... which is freakin scary... no no... its hell more towards petrifying...

everybody thinks im strong enough after the way i pulled myself through... but im having doubts even towards my own self... which contradicts every freakin perception i have... which is now leaving me in a hurricane headache cos i thought i was done... am i or am i not?...

i guess its harder to trust yourself when everyone trust you a whole lot...

right now... i still await a sublime intervention

2007-02-26T08:38:00.000-08:00

i wonder... will all the tides just stop... and people just realised what they have been doin instead of living underneath a facade of something glassed with false feelings and mechanic emotions...

wen will all the lies stop and u start living reality for a change...
choices are made in life... make it
instead of goin with the flow...
Fuck... go through it...
Only den will u realize wad im goin through
while youre out dere living it...
start thinking for a change.

times up.

errr...yea...wadever

2007-02-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

in due time... everyone soon realizes that they go round and round either in circles or sometimes get way ahead of themselves and in the end... ironically; ends up in the same place;the beginning. That same beginning but instead having a different look... a different feel or somewhat a certain change that makes them stay (ironically also that its a change which is lacked in the first place...heh)... life i guess... its like it is... and often unintentional.

some people take months... some take years... in the end... it all ends wif a smile... hopefully mine will too... time will tell...

hope it wont b too late...
tempered grief and absolut ambiguity

sick

2007-02-19T06:19:00.000-08:00

been down wif illness... darn... cant smoke... cant drink so much... its just sucky altogether...

but yea... no choice... so far holidays have been alright... reunion dinner was rather a ix of awesomeness and awkwardsness... heh... traditions are kinda fun... too bad deres no tiger... =x been kinda slow wif blogin lately... just lazy la... ive been comin home late like everyday... and drinkin everyday... ill b spendin such a life throughout 07-08 like dis... gonna have my own place soon... gonna miss my family...lol... i hope they will have a good life dere... =) we'll see if i get to stay in singapore cos i only got 1 year... i dont wanna go... but we'll see huh nic...=x

1 year... alot of things can happen... hope the tie will go for fiq dis tyme... meanwhile im gonna have a blast having my own place... my own car and my own bike... i freakin need to get a license... damn u tp...so long... but ouhwell... hope the guys can pass soon... so dey can drive me around..hehe...

a week more to bangkok... i wanna have a good tyme... i really need it... need to be a 100% in 7 days... to all... have a good lunar new year...=)

awkward thoughts... waitin for your sublime intervention...

2007-02-06T08:20:00.000-08:00

devoured by your hatred... succumbed to a solitary sentence... flicked your flame away... but in the end... i got burned... cos i was reckless through narrowed thoughts... till the day i get awaken... i swear ill sleep it off...

let it slide i guess...

lagooned

2007-02-01T07:53:00.000-08:00

welcomin february wif open arms... hell ive waited so long for you to come... =x heh

been a very tiring few days for me... overnight at neeks place was fun... haha... refuse to go anp at first but thanx to fer... -_- die die wanna go... me and nic bo bien

cds as usual... left early... den lagooned at east coast... bloody hell... freakin long walk from parkway la... but AT LEAST GOT ENTERTAINMENT...
everybody's excited bout the food and everythin... and ya... cant wait till next week...

COME BANGKOK COME... =)

MiSsIng EveRYthINg

slide

2007-01-24T07:22:00.000-08:00

projects have been drainin a whole lot of my energy... im becomin a freakin robot... but ouhwell...no way in hell am i gonna let it slide though

watched movie yest... damn funny show... kung fu mahjong 3... my jaw was achin from laughin...
cant wait for everythin to end... and let february come... birthday... bangkok... party party party... =)

so made my decision... not movin to germany... but we'll see la huh... im quite indecisive... meantime... im gonna try to move out and live on my own... its time i leave everythin for awhile... at least im not leavin the country ryte guys?....lol

alot of things to do... anp and stuffs... hais... at least got motivation cos von von gonna accompany me till 5am!... hope i dun doze off...

okae nites... prison break before i get back to work... buh bye

tertiary flinged

2007-01-19T08:27:00.000-08:00

kinda blog dead recently... so yea... back

thursday was kind fo a long day... though we had no skool but yea...friggin CDS... come to skool for just dat... really man... furthermore... there was open house so yea... hehe... (OPURTUNIST) =) well von didnt come for cds cos she got LOA so the more of a reason i didnt wanna go cos feel bloody alone as everybody is involved in the open house... SOOO..... as usual... took attendence den helped out oms, fungfung, sheryl and fer at the Brand Hub.

kinda cool as the guys were like expressing the goodness of MARKETING and talkin about korea trip and all... the student visitors were kinda dead though... OUH BUT WHO CARES... if you dont want marketing den your problem la... lots of laaughs at the brand hub... hehe stayed dere and talked to many groups of students.... well honestly i didnt do the tokin but it was fer and the rest... me and nic were just watchin and slackin for the fun of it... den went home arnd 5.30 to rest before goin out again...

after changin den met nic ed and denneth at clarke quay... MOS was freakin packed but yea... thanx to von...and her cuz of course =) we got in through VIP... so yea... tertiary fling dis year was far better... music was dope of course and the drinks were as i expected... got my adrenanline up and ya... partied till like 3 plus and von looked like she tooked a shower!...LOL ... total non stop dancing...everybody was enjoyin themselves... my bros, ck, fer, von... everybody la...lol

yeap... definitely a great nite... had a hell offa ball....update more soon... nites ya

tension

2007-01-07T08:31:00.000-08:00

mistakes... big or small we all get drowned by the wrongs we did... get eaten up... eventually spitted out... but some are dat unlucky... wherby they dun even get to have a second chance... cos the mistake they made... throws dem in fear... so forgiveness?... 2nd chances?... is just a far cry...

i just dont know anymore... u asked me to find him... yet you dun want to see him... u asked me to talk to him... and yet u dun even wanna hear wad the conversation is about... u asked me to bring him home... and unsurprisingly... u cant face him...

you... you asked me to take care of her while you were gone... wen exactly is everythin gonna be done?... the whole family tree has been buggin me even wen im at work... i cant freakin even think straight!... dont be so hard on yourself... if you love... love whole heartedly... but i noe dats impossible for you both to do dat to me... i can accept dat... but at least... for the rest of your sons...

i still remember as if its was yesterday... u said to me... "i promise myself... dat i will never love you with all my heart... cos i noe... u will disappoint me...and u already did... and u will leave this world one day... so... i wouldnt cry on your deathbed... cos it makes everything easier" at that time... i didnt understand... how could a mom say dat to his son?... but ryte now... yes... now... after 18 years of my life... i understand... everybody disapppoints... whether u like it or not... but... you forgot one thing...

i am me... i tainted your faces once... but though u wont love me as much... i love whole heartedly... cos... im just me... dats y... its hard for me... to let go.... to let someone from my family go down liddat... cos i dont weigh love with disappointment... i dont wiegh love with the pain i feel... im not lovin you less cos you left home... and niether because of wad u said to me...

im already at my weakest... physically and emotionally... with the mentality to discard all that ive percieved to live for... but ... i have the people around me... that are always dere to help me hold on... but sadly... there are also people dat want to destroy wads left of me...

where is my escape when i need it badly?...

2007-01-03T09:58:00.000-08:00

so today went skool awhile... in the mood to see wad its like for 07... pretty much the same... but yea... alot of carts has been set up... jojo made cookies... damn nice... worth my $1... lol

in the meantime waited for nic to finish his project meetin... which oni took like 5 min... damn cool la bro... u the man... had lots of laughs wif the hilarious pics altogether... yea i entertain... dats wad i do... *winks* me and nic made dis stupid magic video clip... damn awesome la!!! ( actually its lame) but ya... we were bored...

after oms and fung went to repair lappy and aff and fer went to liduuuuuuuuuu....LOL (pun intended... sori i cant let it go) but yea... i headed down to joseph house and played winning eleven... not bad... im still quite hard to beat... =) i got skills okae!!!...lol had some vodka and a sip of gin and den went of for dinner wif ed along...

reach home... bathe... 45 min training wif bro... seriously im quite slow now... and i bled thanx to a sucker punch from him... hais... i need to keep up la dammit... he's too fast for me now... hope its not speed bein the critical factor... btw... i seriously need to cut my hair... damn itchy and its affecting my concentration... lol

okae... AFTER DAT... decided to do my ij... got the mood already... den bloody modem screwed me good... real good!!!! machines hate me MAN!!!!... wth... wad did i ever do to dem... ATMs, standard tix machine, modem, my laptop, vending machines... (even those in korea... -_- its international i tell u) so dis is a msg to you stupid cyber- computer- generated- by- electricity- wif the cheek to call urself mans' convenience- load- of- crap!!!......

please la... dun play me man
i seriously never do anythin lo
the vending machine in korea was the last straw
so please... gimme a break... i promise ill b good
ill stop cursing... my new year's resolution...
okae? =) ... hen hao

no mood to do ij now thanx to...err... lol... nvm

New year, NEw game??

2007-01-01T23:55:00.000-08:00

its the dawn of a new year... lucky number seven?... we'll see... had a blast during the new years eve celebrations... apart from all the hectic runnin around in the morning till evening being the father figure of the family. Ppl just ask too many questions. all u can do is keep the lid on things. I just couldnt wait till the acting all stop. When evening came... i got to be me again. 18 and just hangin around wif the loves.

All headed to marina south for dinner. Im quite pathethic la huh. thanx. i just cant eat alot man even if its steamboat or buffet... lol i dont have a very big appetite as i used to anymore. so sad. dinner till 11 den decided to head to georges. but... lol bummer man. cab lines are jammed... every bloody cab was on call... when it struck 12... we all wished each other a happy new year...by the bloody roadside. Yes, not cool. But at least we get to see the fireworks. Damn cool. though all firework displays seem indifferent... but its the company that makes it all special. Nic refuses to hug us and wish us a happy new year becos he said he havnt reach georges yet.

Von and fer managed to flag a cab first den me nic ed walked all the way to the mrt station...BUT STILL NO CAB. -_- so fungfung called and asked us if we need her help. SAVIOR!
while waiting for her... we sang our hearts out by the roadside... lol damn funny.

reached georges around 1 plus and yea... finally nic wished everybody happy new year... -_- long overdue but yea.... hui fang dere mah... of cos la!... LOL so it was me,von,fer,affandi,fungfung, omar and edmund. The live band was awesome. But got this dude, bloody hell suddenly hugged me out of the blue and asked me to jumped along to the song of zombie by the cranberries. I was like... err... yea... happy new year to you... stop touching me... UR A DUDE! so yea... fer and von were laughing at my situation but hey... its the new year... and i think he's quite high so let him be la huh... lol

open bottle... black labelled till i dunno wad tyme... LOL standard la... me omar nic kiesha and les were all wasted... entertainment for fungfung and fer... so yea... 42 below was left untouched.. actually not really la... had at least 4 mouthfuls before georges... so yeap... still can... so we all spend the night at oms place. Had a great new years eve... lots of laughs, double the tears.

whats awaitin for me in the new year?... as 06 is gone... i have to enter 07 without a complete me and a complete family... im a shell of a man i am now... its not easy... but just by acting... it makes things easier to swollow. 3 more days left... time just aint on my side... still got skool work to be done...work.. i nid all the time left for me to think real straight... i want to turn 19... i really want to... if dats the case... at least... the hunger is dere... 07, ouh-seven..... ouh-savurn.

remember my promise...

fight night

2006-12-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

2 weeks more... just 2... time really flies... though dis tyme... i hope its on my side... cos its somethin i dont have right now...

Tears From The Heavens

2006-12-21T10:13:00.000-08:00

i say...

December to dismember.... hardly seen the sun for almost a week now... Tears from the Sun?... its been rainin heavily and everybody its at its mercy. The Heavens are cryin for us all... as the holidays draw near... i hope dat all will have a good tyme... i noe it wont b the same... but yea... im blessed by the december rain too... i miss it.... nite

Statement Under Fire

2006-12-20T07:18:00.000-08:00

truth is... we never understood each others anger... each others pain... each others disappointment...

you just stopped talkin... you stopped makin me understand... and asked me to wait... and i did... cos of my love for you... my previous entry may have erupted your aggrovation... u dont have to hear my explaination... cos u noe it yourself... no personal attack involved...

you just stopped talkin... and i noe and u always say dat there's nothin important for me to noe... there's nothin for me to noe... i just need to noe the truth... wads really in your heart... lay it all on the table... face to face... take your time... i'll wait... if dere's anythin... i want to hear it from you and only you...

Takin some time out

2006-12-19T07:41:00.000-08:00

im back... haven been home lately man... somehow everythin seems foreign... gotta get used to it i guess... so yea.. this entry will b kinda back dated so yea... heck its my blog =)

last day of papers, holidays... hell yea... finally no more muggin and stayin up late... but den again got projects la... dammit

yeap dat day was kinda fun... i mean really fun... went to party world wif the guys and den headed to oms place to wait for sheryl, fer and yvonne to get ready. In the meantime... me, joseph, oms, fungfung, daph and john had the chivas life. Half the bottle gone. Everyone was pumped. Had McDs and damn the Mcspicy was super SPICY MAN!!!! i like!!!!!.... its like the first tyme ever la... thaNX to oms mom for treatin us...lol =x

after dinner went straight to ATTICA and hehe... yeap... the night began... comments on ATTICA... kinda small the dance floor... but the burban coke was the bomb... i dunno if its burban coke or burban whisky but oh my... i got pumped... went to the dancefloor wif the guys for awhile...took alot of pics and had a fair tyme... 1 plus... we all left for MOS cos joseph wanted to go and yea... everybody wanted to go so nvm... y not... V.I.P list thanx to yvonne's cuz... reached MOS and thats where all the fun started... haha... vodka ribena was shared... MY LOVE and GIVE IT UP TO ME was played... how could i complain... =)

danced all the way till 3 plus... den went home... well i didnt go home of cos but the rest did... so yea... cool nite... hehe

after dat nite... i kinda disappeared from a few of my frens and im sori... and now im back... so yea... its been quite awhile since i came home too... mom didnt say anythin so i take it that she understands... sori for cancellin on you... ill make it up ya... =)

haven talked to her for quite awhile.
avoidance? anger? disappointment?
even wen i didnt do anythin wrong,
i just feel bumped...
naivity, soft hearted?...
maybe its just me...
but it describes me so well...
im proud dat i am wad i am now
cos no man and i mean no man,
can blanket patience all over himself like me
the hurt, the pain, nobody really can feel it
unless their me...

??? : "its amazing how a person can take so much... are you even human fiq?"

=) i bleed, i die... so yea...im human... im as human as you are...

nites eveybody... fiq's back so just gimme a call... promise to answer... =x

time will heal all dats broken

2006-12-04T08:20:00.000-08:00

yea... hi ... its me... AGAIN...

today had revision lectures and all... had some misunderstandings and yea... everythin was kinda heated... but at the end of the day... i just want things to go back... my jeans suddenly became somethin unpopular... -_- lol ouhwell... head down to east coast for dinner wif the guys... slacked dere for quite awhile... den went straight home...

results came in... i cracked a rib... dats damn sad... i cant beleive it... so yea... sori to disappoint those hu counted on me but i cant go on... looks like the rest have to go on without me... well at least can concentrate on mid sem.. still... im devastated...

my fights

2006-12-03T07:13:00.000-08:00

been a really long tiring day man... woke up early and thought of meetin hafiz but in the end i was not needed...lol...damn u... well at least i manage to get more sleep cos i slept quite late the other night...

totally ignored every calls and msges... needed to get my game on... well was hopin she would msg me but..lol ouh well... she's caught up wif things aniwaes... so yea... all i had was me today...

went down alone... found out i was almost the last one to go... bloody hell... LOL but hey... at least i get more time to prepare... met alot of talented guys dere... and interestingly... lol 2 other guys were also using TKD/Muay Thai too... hehe... but not in the same class so... yea...

watched a few fights... den after dat it was my turn finally... found out i was quite unlucky cos i needed to go against 2 guys dat day... Akido and Junjitsu... first match was not bad... lol... didnt get a scratch... =) he was done for in 2 min i think... bwahaha... (sori but im not evil... just happy =) )

den rested for another 2 hours... okae dis match was really the most farked up match ever man.... (finally fiq said a vulgarity in his blog -_-) i really am quite cautious goin against Akido dudes cos... damn... dey will twist ur every joint past pain to just sheer... ARGGGHHH!!!! ...lol

fight was quite lengthy... 7 min plus... but in the end... yea yea... =) won again... but bad news man... that guy got me good... bloody hell... dad fetched me den went straight to mum's workplace... found out dat my right wrist is thrashed, my ribs are bruised and i got a bloody cut on my left eye... thanx arh... -_- heh and mom's really pissed... She was like... WHAT HAPPENED????.... me being "honest" lol replied... I FELL.... (im such a bad liar -_-) hell she was pissed... lol... ya she found out la... cos my dad cant lie for nuts too... haha

just worried bout my wrist dat all... hope i can still continue next week... =)

yea... dats my tiring day...

ur words could make everythin more meaningful today...

DEcEmber 06

2006-12-02T06:53:00.000-08:00

so... hehe yea... been quite lazy to blog but.. ouhwell... at least im here

thursday was cool cause the clique spend thier night at omar's crib dat day. Me, hui peng, fer, affandi and fungwee altogether. All were busy wif ANP and i was... well just smokin i guess... ny com cannot connect to the net... like wth la... and wen it finally did... my batt went out on me... honestly... i dunno y machines have dis tendency to not go my way wen im around dem... standard tix machines, my modem, my lappy, bloody hell the vending machines in korea too... its international i tell you!!!... curse you mechanical scum!!!!!!!!!!! lol... kk ill stop

aniwaes after everybody were done wif ANP we all took a break and had some drinks... well...lol hu am i kiddn... had some music... adam did some headspins... affandi driving aunty nuts... played the circle game thingy... lol YEAP it was all good. Actually i tot we would end up all night but sadly the next day we had skool so yea... to prevent anybody from gettin wasted i guess... so yea... we all went to sleep straight away... though i and hui peng oni slept at 7... wth!!! -_- freakin tired man... actually oni affandi and fer managed to sleep lo... piggies... =)

the next day went to skool for comskills, didnt go for lec cos v lazy... sori fer... heh after dat went PS and den to orchard emerald to meet thier supplier, Ms Fatty... lol i fell asleep waitin for her... -_- freakin hell took so long... after we're done we all head to holland V wif marcus too... it was fun...hehe Had alot of laughs and shit... yups... but den heading home was a bitch man... bloody hell... but ouh well... overall... alls good... especially the night at omar's =)

so yea... im done... ciao.. =)

Im ALIVE again ..

2006-11-28T06:36:00.000-08:00

its far easier now den it was before. I can finally rest my thoughts and stop wondering. All the questions that needs to be answered were all laid on the table. And one by one, it made everythin so much clearer.

=) i can finally smile with my heart. Today has been one of the best days compared to any day of dis month. Seeing her smile and laugh. Its all worth it. Really. Its the little blessings in life i guess. Its just... she's more than just a blessing.

Went to watch happy feet together. Funny show. V cute. lol Been awhile since i laughed like dat. Before that we had alot of laughs in the school lab. Us, fer, sher, omar and fungwee. Hehe. talked abt alot of wierd stuffs. its not dat its wierd but its just.... LOL! ouh well, oni those who were there would understand. We also went through the memories of Korea too. =) omar can dance la!... he's just being humble as always.

yup dats all for tday. Ill b back of coz. Nite...

m O re t H an just a P erfect blessing... i love u

home alone

2006-11-25T05:10:00.000-08:00

looks like i haven been bloggin for quite awhile... but ouh well im here now... =)

thursday went MOS wif the guys and gals and it was not bad i guess....the music was darn disappointing... and the most frustrating part is dat MY LOVE played only after i left!!!.... bloody dj needs just one tight slap...lol aniwaes bumped inot the owner of JOJOANGKONGTIAM... Mr Goei himself... so daring man u... got curfew still go club...

didnt expect to leave quite early dat day but i did... cos sheryl needs to go so i accompany her... its was like almost 1 am wen we left... but i did had fun wif dem... and please auntie fer and cindy.... stop poking my chest can...pain sia

niwaes after dropping sher off... my frens called and asked me if i wanted to join dem at Fisherman's... havnt seen them for awhile so i said y not... told the cab uncle to go pasir ris park instead of heading home...

Had a few drinks.... well okae la i wasnt drunk or anythin... Drank alot of Gin and a shot of Henessy... lol the pips are as funny as always... did alot of cathing up... they tried to throw me in the waters... the reason... cos my house is near... luckily i diverted the attention to Faz... bwahahah... serves you ryte woman... want to disturb me ryte?...

Next day...friday dat is... nothin much... i couldnt really sleep... thinkin of you... the gin and henessy still inside my stomach but... couldnt manage to get them out... ouh well... called omar asked him wad tyme he coming skool... den met him before consultation... after everythin done... initially me and hui peng wanted to watch happy feet... but would end quite late so just waited for omar to reach hm so i can crash at his place... while waiting went back to bathe and rest awhile... =) missing everythin abt you...

den after omar called... we left my place and i went straight to omar's place... picked up fungwee at her place den went straight to his... it was cool crashin...lol... fer and affandi joined us later on... watched bleach at his house den everybody was like... "WTH?!" wad u watchin dude?...lol idiots...

The room...was freakin cold!!!!... i immediately had sinus and was sniffelin all the way... fungwee was a goner cos she used every single piece of tissue the house had to offer... lol..

overall... yeap... not so cool being home alone... and now im freakin hungry...lol

a friend ask me that day....

???: What could be worst than losing the person that you love?

FiQ: (smiled).... nothing... the answer is nothing

Wherever You will Go

2006-11-21T06:30:00.000-08:00

So lately, I've been wonderin
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need loveTo light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall.It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

If I could, then I wouldI'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down lowI'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out. The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you. Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall. It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

keys to my heart

2006-11-17T04:56:00.000-08:00

KEYS TO MY HEART

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

errr...lol....ooookkae..... got dis from ong hui peng... i mean the link... lol

today was fine. seriosly the weather can really b unpredictable. Sun to rain sun to rain like four times today. i guess thats the beauty of nature. and also a person. went to cdc wif fer and hui peng and their btt is like.... next year! lol i guess they shud just slowly wait lo. weekends coming. lol guess ill b havin fun.

live and let live... =)

to dad....

2006-11-16T07:31:00.000-08:00

I guess its just the November Rain. Honestly it hasnt been a great month and today justifies it... OUh well...hehe... i hope it gets better... Thank goodness i came home early today

To dad, i noe your trying to teach him. But honestly your ways are ridiculous. The pain doesnt hurt. But emotionally, u hurt me. But dun tok bout me... Cos the one you hurt more is hakeem. And the one you hurt the most is mom.

A Picture of uS

2006-11-14T07:33:00.000-08:00

today was nice... get to meet up wif old frens and did alot of tokin... lol didnt noe they've got so much stuffs to discuss... met the pips at tampines den slack till arnd 6... den after fauzi left... went home to sleep awhile. Feelin quite drained. den went out again go jalan2 and den go home...lol

the day was quite fast... at home i spend my time... listening to new songs and also... drew a picture of us. LOL kinda surprising cos its been a long tyme since i really drew you noe. Suddenly realised dat i used to like drawing. I noe im good at it...lol Nah im just flatterin myself. =)

Casino Royale is opening soon. Cant wait... =)

To Understand... Finding you

2006-11-12T02:46:00.000-08:00

You noe... love is amazing... its just somethin you look forward to but at the same time... many are afraid to jump into dem. The fear, the blame... are all but part and parcel dont you think. When your in love, alot of things come into part. The things u say, the things you do and how you express dat feeling. In time... when things dont go well... things just needs figuring out.

But the truth is... nobody can figure things out on thier own. The risk of gettin lost and frustrated is at its upmost high as you're living your life in an enigmatic tiring state. We consult family, frens and the people we love... helping us rationize wads really happening. I always wanted to noe what she's feeling and what she's really goin through. All i want is to understand. Allow me to find you again. We need each other. I noe its not easy for both of us but we need to sort things out together. Whatever it takes, just tell me. Let me in and let me understand. I noe there's so much for you to tell me... Just tell me. I wanna listen... im always here to listen. Let me find the real you... cos i want to...

love you... always have... always will

the 9th..

2006-11-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

the 9th... lol

has always been the most happiest date of every month since i was born. Seems like im always smilin wen the 9th comes... its somethin i'll always look forward to... even wen things arent goin that well... i always feel that everything is gonna be fine wen the 9th comes... i noe its stupid but... its wad keeps me goin... my anni, my bdae... smiles n laughter... joy... no tears

lol... happy 9th everybodi... i asure u... everybody will have thier fun... and i will try to have mine... darn i forgot tmr i finish at 6!!! lol ... OUH WELL~~

Stand By Me will you?

2006-11-07T07:25:00.000-08:00

Stand By Me

Nothing's impossible
Nothing's unreachable
When i am weary
You make me stronger
This love is beautiful
So unforgetable
I feel no winter coat
When were together
When were together

Will you stand by me
Hold on and never let me go
Will you stand by me
With you i know i belong
When the story gets told
When day turns into night
I look into your eyes
I see my future now
All the world and its wonder
This love wont fade away
And through the hardest days
I'll never question us
You are the reason
My only reason

Will you stand by me
Hold on and never let me go
Will you stand by me
With you i know i belong
When the story gets told
I am blessed
To find what i need
In a world loosing hope
Your my only belive
You make things right
Everytime after time
Will you stand by me
Hold on and never let me go
Will you stand by me
With you i know i belong
When the story gets told

Stand by me
No more darlin i want you by my side
I want you hear with mee

=)

My Facade

2006-11-07T06:28:00.000-08:00

Living lyfe in enigma is somethin alot of people fear. U dont know where your goin. Who you want to live for and your real purpose in lyfe. Alot of us live for our family and the people we hold dear. But when a person leaves and walks away just like dat, a part of you is taken away and the reason for you to go on is just somewhat of an option. To me, when that happens, the facade of a man crumbles... awakening their primal scream and cry for help.

But for a woman, the patience they have is... of something i bow down to. Their emotional strength and will to carry on is something dat one needs to admire. Its all to do with faith. You have faith towards the people around you and even to the person that walked, soon enough you'll b smiling again. The strength of a woman. Admiration to us men.

to mama and mummy, we all have each other...
We will go through this together.
The Promise of a son/grand son. =)

Accepttance....With Patience...Waitin

2006-11-06T07:25:00.000-08:00

Todae... someone i hold dear is free... its somethin i have to live with... i love her and she asked me to let go... its wad she wants... and wad i feelis ryte... for now... ive never actually lost her... she will still be dere for me wen i need her...just... she wont b dere all the time... we are still close... but not a couple. Like my frens told me. Status aint everythin

If u really love her... u dont need to be together through status... she's still here... but not always.
Still love her... always missing her... i will always pray dat... if she really loves me... she will realise it... no status required... and she'll come back.

For now she needs freedom to do all the things she feels she needs to do... living lyfe while being free... which i understand and will always respect... i will always b dere for her... when she comes back... it will b in open arms... no matter wad... but all i want to noe for now is... if she still loves me?... since we didnt break on sour terms. Cos... i... love her

To Omar.Joseph.Fungwee.Winniefer and even Afandi... thanx for being dere for me... not forgettin Sheryl Yeo... =)

U guys are really dere for me... makin my load lesser and helping cope through dis challenge... dats ryte... its only a challenge... not the end of anythin... Jean will still b dere for me... but she just needs alot of space and time... till she comes back... i still have Her, Omar, Fungwee, Winniefer, Sheryl and Joseph.

I pray to God Almighty... dat if HE wans to challenge me... help me cope with it... assist me... through frens, family and even her... But if HE noes very well that i cant... Just take away my life and let me be closer to HIM. Cos i dun want to burden anybody in this world. Not my family, my frens and especially not her. I noe its just a test. To see if i really say wad i really mean to her. And if i was ever sincere.

To winniefer and affandi, you are just like the mirror of my relationship. I see alot of myself in Affandi. Sometimes we guys just want to b dere for them even wen its hard for us in certain situations. And we rarely spoke abt it. We just want to show how sincere and how pure our love is for our partner. I see my old self in Affandi really. We dont think much. We just b dere for them cos we love them alot. But we still need to understand dat our partners need the space to breathe. Letting them spend tyme wif thier frens wont hurt one bit cos they are sincere enuff to b wif u in the first place. Affandi, u are the luckiest guy on earth to be given such oppurtunity and chances by your partner. For me, its just one mistake and she left without even telling me about my mistake very early and got tired. She's right to leave me. m just not too lucky i guess...lol... give each other space and time cos we all have problems and things to settle individually. Cherish this relationship while its dere. Even for me, i still do... Cos She is the most amazing person ive ever met and be with... and for the girls, lol... dey just want to b dere for you...Yes irritating till you want to strangle yourself tymes 10 but... its sincerity and love at the end of the day. If u want space, talk to him abt it early... so he will understand... if he doesnt... GIV HIM MY PHONE NUMBER.... bloody hell.... lol

i love you, i love you all along.
i miss you... been far away for far too long
i keep dreaming you'll b with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if i dun see you anymore...

At least she's still here for me... im thankful... and to my frens.... =) i love you all...

finally...

2006-11-01T08:02:00.000-08:00

yea yea...haha i have a blog

took me quite awhile to get started though. must be under the influence hehe

ouh well...first of all shut up haiz now i am as kental as u...niwaes i mstill figurin out how to work dis thing so haha dun worri...ill get better...=)

overall school has been fine.seeing the old faces again and people bringin SEXYBACK (pun intended) hehe

ill update soon...